A Financial Education Event
     

7 Ways to Thank a Veteran Today and Every Day

 

As far a military families go, I’m brat, a grandbrat, a wifebrat and a mombrat. Yes, military service runs deep in the Kay family. My Grandpa died as an aircrew member in WWII; my dad retired as a Chief Master SGT in the US Air Force; my hubby flew fighter aircraft in the Air Force for 30 years; one of my sons graduated from the Naval Academy and is an active duty Marine; another son graduated this year from the United States Air Force Academy and is at pilot training; and my youngest son is a junior at WestPoint. So when it comes to thanking our troops for their service, I really appreciate those of you who take the time to say thanks.  Here are some more easy ways to express your appreciation:

1.       Say “Thanks” – The fact that you are reading this blog, indicates that you probably already thank those in uniform when you see them. When people say “Thank you for your service” to my Marine son, he responds with, “Proud to serve.”  Be sure to also thank family members, including parents of service members, for the way they serve by supporting their military members. You can also say thanks by donating to Heroes at Home, which provides financial readiness for military readiness. In our Heroes at Home events I explain that when people say thanks to them, it’s their way of being patriotic.

2.      Say “Welcome Home” – As we all know, the Vietnam War was not a popular conflict, and those who served were greeted with jeers, taunts or just plain apathy. There are also those who returned from the Korean War who were never properly welcomed back. So when you see an older vet, ask them what war they served in and if it’s one of those two, then ask one more question, “Were you ever welcomed home?” If they say, “no” then simply say, “Well you have been now, welcome home soldier, thank you for your service.” I’ve done this many times and all were deeply thankful for the sentiments, and some were so deeply moved, they even had tears in their eyes. In our Heroes at Home Events, I encourage our young service members to welcome home these Veterans and just how much it means for someone currently serving to thank those who have served.

3.      Pick Up Dinner – Every year, restaurants give free meals and discounts for Veterans and those who are serving now and at The Military Wallet, you can get this year’s update. But why not keep it going year round? Once a year, or more, depending on your budget, pay for a military member’s meal. You may see a service member with his or her family or a group of military dudes and dudettes in a small group at a restaurant. Don’t go up to the soldier, sailor or airman to ask if you can pay for their meal. Instead, go to the manager or the waitress and ask for their bill, then pay it as you leave and tell the waitress to give them a simple message: “Thank you for your service.”

4.       Operation Gratitude – During Veterans day week, our USAFA parents club volunteered to help put together care packages for the troops. Lots of volunteers put together over 7,000 care packages in one day! Each time I went through the assembly line with my boxes, it took all my self control not to slip that package of Rocky Mountain Factory fudge into my pocket. You can also donate DVDs, Girl Scout cookies, trial-sized toiletries, candy, scarves, gloves, small stuffed animals, books and more to the effort.

5.      Mow A Yard – Or rake leaves, or plant rosebushes, or paint an outhouse, or… you get the idea, for the military family of a deployed service member in your neighborhood, church or community.  When Bob was gone and I was left home alone with a house full of kids, I really appreciated that help. The best help comes from people you know, where that military family is comfortable knowing you are not a creeper!

6.      Donate Your Old Cell – If you are like most of the Kay family members, you get a new phone about once every 18 months or so (it seems to be an inalienable right in our clan). Instead of trading in when you trade up, give it to Cell Phones for Soldiers


7.     
Care for Critters – If you are like my hubby, you are a critter person. He sits in his easy chair each evening and instantly—voila!—three mini schnauzers appear in his lap. They were his constant pet therapy when he broke his back a couple years ago, thereby ending his career as a fighter pilot. If you love critters, then you can offer to provide foster care by taking in a dog or cat of a wounded or deployed military member while he or she is receiving medical
treatment or on duty.  For more on this, go to Guardian Angels for Soldiers.

Thank you to all our Veterans and their families, and a special thanks to my husband, LTC Bob Kay, the World’s Greatest Fighter Pilot for his 30 years of service, to my Marine, Airman and Soldier. I’m so proud of all of you!

Ellie Kay

www.elliekay.com

Car Buyer’s Market Amplified by COVID-19

Traditionally, the end of a car model (2020) means the beginning of the new models (2021), which means a significant savings on buying your next car. This is the beginning of a great car buying season that is actually even more buyer friendly in light of a COVID-19 environment and a 20% decline in global auto sales.

On our popular podcast The Money Millhouse, we recently interviewed Rod Griffin on an episode  about the kind of credit score associated with buying a car.  He said that this time of the year is one of the car buying seasons because dealerships are getting new models and are even more motivated to unload last year’s inventory.

Even though you may have a goal to eventually drive your cars for free , you can still be informed about credit scores in relationship to buying used or new cars.

Let me start by asking you the question we ask our audiences when we speak on a Heroes at Home tour: How do you lose around $8000 in 8 seconds?

Did you get the answer yet?

The answer is: you drive your brand new car off the lot.

Yes, the average new vehicle will depreciate $8000 in the first year. Since most folks finance that new vehicle, it’s more like losing $10,000 in 8 seconds!

So WHY oh WHY do you continue to buy NEW?

Some folks answer, “for the warranty.” But if you bought the vehicle a year old, you could do two things to make up for that 12 months of warranty you lose over buying new:

  • Warranty Purchase – you could purchase an extended warranty, which (depending on the car you drive) is only $800 to $1500 per year. This is WAY LESS than the 8K–10K you are losing by buying new. Plus warranties are negotiable. When I had to renew the warranty on my Mercedes 280SLK, the dealership gave me their best price. Then I called USAA, telling them the best quote I got and they beat the price by $800. Plus, instead of the $200 deductible I had with the other quote, the USAA deductible was $0! I used that warranty at my local Mercedes dealership (world’s best service department) and paid $0 deducible and got the same excellent service that I normally get.
  • CPO or Certified Previously OwnedIf you get a vehicle with a CPO on it, then part of the deal is that the dealership extends the warranty a year and this is a full manufacturer’s warranty. Plus, there are more stringent inspection standards and additional roadside assistance. Once, I had a shady salesperson who told me the car was CPO, “All our cars are CPO” she said, but she never presented me with CPO paperwork to sign at the deal’s closing. You guessed it, the vehicle was NOT CPO and she lied. Be sure you get CPO paperwork if you are told it is a genuine CPO. It costs the dealership anywhere from $800 to $2500 to CPO your vehicle, depending on the year, make and model. You HAVE TO sign CPO paperwork that is dated from BEFORE the date you buy the car or it’s not valid. Remember that asking a dealer to make a vehicle CPO is part of the negotiating process and this will increase the value of the deal anywhere from $1000 to $2500.

A couple years ago, I was on my way to Disneyland to meet another author friend and a careless driver made an unprotected left hand turn right into my vehicle (about 5 feet off the bumper). I had NO TIME to react or even take my foot off the brake. The fact that Mercedes are so well built and the fact God sent his angels to protect me are the only reasons I walked away from this terrible crash with only a few cuts and bruises.

This accident put me back in the market for a vehicle. So this time I decided to try USAA’s car buying service. Since we had an extra car at home, I could take my time to find the best deal. The car buying service told me the price, the discount, gave me free access to a CarFax report, showed me a chart of similar cars purchased in my area to indicate an average, good, or great deal, and more. I compared the prices I saw on the site to Kelley Blue Book and did all my research. Then I followed the same three steps we teach in our Heroes at Home Financial Events.

Step One: Negotiate Price First

Negotiate the price of the car at a dealership apart from the value of the trade-in. Tell the salesperson you want to determine the price of the car without the trade-in. The reason you want to do this is because salespeople will often give you far more for your trade than you expected—thus hooking you on the deal. However, this higher-value-for-the-trade-in shtick can be part of the technique they use to get you to purchase the car. If a higher value is given to the trade, then they will give a lower discount on the price of the vehicle, because all the discounting went into the value of the trade.

Step Two: Negotiate the Value of the Trade-In

Now that you’ve determined the price of the car, ask what the dealer will give you for your trade-in. Most likely, you will get more for your car if you sell it yourself. A little elbow grease and some top-notch detailing can net you hundreds of dollars more than a dealer can give you, if you can find a buyer. Some people (like military families) don’t always have the time to sell their car because of moving schedules and so forth. So if you are going to try to trade in your car, look up the value of your existing car at Kelley Blue Book or Edmunds, then print the page (or screen shot it), and bring it with you to the car lot to negotiate the price. Bottom line: try your best to gather enough facts beforehand so that you make a wise decision.

Step Three: Secure Your Own Financing

The F&I (finance and insurance office) is where the lion’s share of a dealership’s profit is made. In this office, you will have to navigate interest rates, payments, terms, additional services, and warranties. Unless you put miles on your car for business or you are purchasing a car that will cost a lot to repair (and you intend to keep it longer than the warranty lasts), extended warranties are usually not a good value. When it comes to vehicle financing, you can generally do better on interest by selecting your own creditor unless the manufacturer is offering a lower APR. Keep in mind that the .99% APR offers only go to the top 10% of those who are the FICO score elite, chances are good that you will not qualify. The credit life insurance that dealers offer is more expensive than raising your regular insurance premium by twenty thousand dollars to cover this expense. And don’t forget to research the price of insurance on your new car so you can afford both the payment and the insurance.

By following my own advice, I talked to my sales representative and I was able to:

  • Negotiate the best price on the vehicle.
  • Get the USAA discount added to the deal.
  • Get a car that had less than 3K miles on it.
  • Get CPO added to my vehicle.
  • Drive a vehicle that is now under warranty until 2022.
  • Get a like-new car that had only been in service officially for a mere three months.
  • Save $9K off the brand-new-plus-CPO price.
  • Pay cash for my car (stay tuned for next week’s blog on how to pay cash for cars).
  • Get the year, make, model and color of the car I wanted.
  • Walk away feeling good about the deal and the value I got.

When are you in the market to get a vehicle, which of these tips will you follow to get the best deal?

Ellie Kay

How to Nail the 400K Interview

Do you enjoy working with tomorrow’s leaders? I sure do!

One of my many volunteer efforts is working with students who have a desire to go to a Department of Defense United States Service Academy such as Navy, West Point, the Merchant Marine Academy and the Air Force Academy (Coast Guard is not a DOD Academy and doesn’t require a Congressional Nomination.) An education that has a value of over 400K and is paid back in 5+ years of military service.

A key part of this process is the Admissions Liaison Officer (ALO) interview AND the Congressional interview. I’ve sat in on over 300+ of these interviews and I’ve thought “with some tips and coaching, these students could have done much better in this interview.” We recently participated in a zoom panel with several of these students and their parents.

Besides being an ALO and Congressional Panelist, I’ve also mentored the three Kay sons who graduated from Navy, Air Force and West Point. Here are some ideas that can help you (or your favorite student) go from good to great in high level, pressure interviews. These ideas are based on work I’ve done professional in Toastmasters, in 2800+ media interviews and in being the interviewer on Congressional panels that interview as many as 50+ students in ONE DAY.

Please feel free to share this blog with the student or person you know has a high level interview coming up. It’s written directly to them!

Best Practices, Tips and Tricks

Keep in mind, this is the most important interview of your life thus far. It’s worth approximately 400K+ (the value of a Service Academy education). This is a high-level interview and these tips are not official USAFA policy, nor have they been endorsed by USAFA. These come from 25 years as a professional speaker & corporate media trainer.

They are also based on my experience as an ALO (USAFA Admissions Liaison Officer) and Congressional Panelist, having interviewed/assessed 300 student candidates.  Besides our kids who graduated from USNA, USAFA and USMA, our other civilian children who graduated from Stanford, Columbia, UTA, &  Moody Bible Institute. All of our kids had interviews involved in their education and all got substantial scholarships to graduate debt free from college.

  • Affirmation – Before the interview, practice some positive affirmations such as “I can do this” and “I’ve prepared for this” and “I’ve worked hard, this is going to be a great interview.” It doesn’t matter if you feel that way or not, just say it either out loud or in your mind. If you have a negative thought leading up to the interview,such as “I’m really nervous” or “I’m not looking forward to this interview” or even “I wish this were over.” Then stop. Reset your mindset and say the positive affirmations I mentioned at the beginning of this point. You could even create your own “Top Ten Affirmations” that you and your parents come up with to counter what I call “stinkin’ thinkin’” Your first three are already listed above.Henry Ford said: “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t—you’re right.”
  • Story Telling and Transparency – As you think through the answers to these questions, incorporate some of your own story that sets you apart. Are you first generation American—there’s a story there. Were you raised by a single parent? Did you have younger siblings to take care of? Did you help care for a family member who was ill or had special needs? Did you have a relative whose example inspired you to military service? Do you have a passion that motivates you such as going on mission trips, helping the homeless, fighting illiteracy or social injustice? Have your parents or mentor help you think through your story and learn to tell it in a way that will have an impact on the listeners.
  • Keep your answers to the ABC Model:

Accurate – Don’t tell anyone else’s story but your own, it will ring of insincerity. If you use numbers, make sure they are up to date. Don’t overstate your scenario. If you quote someone, then give attribution to that quote or story, you don’t want to pretend it’s your own.

Brief – You shouldn’t have an answer that lasts more than one minute. Otherwise, it

sounds like a monologue. But don’t give a “yes” or “no” answer either.  That’s too brief! A 30-45 second answer is ideal.

Clear – Even if you are using fewer words, you still want to be clear so that the panel understands what you are trying to communicate. Ask your parents if you really answered the question and ask them what they heard your answer to be. If they are hearing something different than what you are saying, then you need to rework the answer until you are clear.

  • Practice answering the questions and have your parents listen for the following:

Superfluous Words – parents count how many times they say filler words such as uh, um, ah or like. Work to eliminate these from your vocabulary with more practice. (Using filler words sends a subliminal message of a lack of confidence in what you are saying. )

The Robot – Don’t practice so much that you sound like a robot or like you are giving canned answers. This comes across awkward and/or disingenuous. You want to retain the element of spontaneity even if you have worked on some answers ahead of time.

The Timing – See above under the ABCs of answers (Brief). Parents can time your answers as you aim for a 30-45 second answer. This is just a suggestion and not a hardline rule. The best interviewees keep their answers long enough to answer the question but not so long that they sound like a run-on sentence.

Pacing – Are you talking too fast? This can come across as being nervous if you are a fast talker. The idea is to tell yourself to “slow down” as you are talking and then talk slower still. It “feels” strange to a fast talker, but it comes across as just the right pace. Unless you are from Texas (as I am), then you probably already talk slow enough.  

  • Take Your Time – If you don’t know the answer to a question asked, it’s ok to take a few seconds and compile your thoughts. Look to the side or look down briefly. I call this the “Ryan Seacrest Effect” where that emcee will put his fingers together, briefly look down, then look back up again. By breaking eye contact with the audience, his brain goes to a place where he remembers what he wants to say. It can also eliminate the “deer in the headlights” effect.
  • Complete Sentence – Take a breath, wait a few seconds, then start answering in a complete sentence. As you begin this way, an answer will likely come to you and you buy time in trying to come up with your answer. For example,  Question: What are your two greatest strengths? Answer: I would say that my greatest strength is…
  • Technical Issues – If this is a virtual call (zoom, skype, FaceTime) make sure you have good lighting (light should be BEHIND your computer/device shining on your face.) Check your sound, too. You may want to wear a headset or earbuds to cut down on feedback during the call. You can test these at www.zoom.us/test
  • Posture – Whether virtual or in person, you can improve your posture by sitting on the front half of your chair. Never sit fully back in the chair or you are more likely to slump. Sit up straight with shoulders back, but be comfortable as well. Too straight makes you stiff, too comfortable comes across as careless.
  • Appearance – You can wear a JROTC or CAP uniform (no Scouting Uniforms). It comes across as professional & shows what you look like in uniform.
  • Service Academy Interviews – Young men get a fresh (shorter) haircut, wear a dark suit, even if it is a virtual interview. White shirt, conservative tie. If it’s a new suit, make sure the thread stay holders are off the pleats in the back of the jacket. Just look at the pleats and if there are long threads there, holding the jacket in place, cut those out. Young ladies can wear a modest suit or dress (not a super short skirt). Neat hair (not trendy or brightly colored). Modest makeup (if you use it). Mid height heels (no higher than 3”). Nails should be plain or freshly painted (no peeling polish.) This is a professional look worthy of such a high-level interview.
  • Eye Contact – If in person, make eye contact with the interviewer that is consistent (but not so intense that it comes across as creepy.) If virtual, look for the camera and try to look into the camera.
  • More Information – For further research, I’ve created a three-part blog on how we helped the Kay brothers get into their respective service academies.

https://elliekay.com/wpress/2018/06/12/its-academy-time-usafa-usna-usma-part-1/

https://elliekay.com/wpress/2018/06/19/its-academy-time-usafa-usna-usma-part-2/

https://elliekay.com/wpress/2018/06/26/its-academy-time-usafa-usna-usma-part-3 /

Mock Interview Panel – Zoom/Skype/GoogleHangouts

WHY:  This is an opportunity to compile a group of people to interview the student. It simulates the pressure the student will feel at the Congressional Panel. If they can experience it once before it actually happens, it will give them greater confidence.

WHO:  Your parents, educators or JROTC Leaders can help get a group together. If you’re in Scouting, they could help put together a panel for you. About 3 to 5 people who join all at one time (probably virtually) to interview you. It will last about 20-30 minutes, depending on how verbose the interviewee and the panelists are during the interview and the feedback section.

WHEN:  Sometime before the ALO and Congressional Panel interviews. You can send out a doodle (organizer) to the panelists to get a date that works for everyone. www.doodle.com

HOW:  Let someone serve as the organizer (maybe a parent) who will send out copies of the questions provided in this document. The questions are numbered.  (Or even send this entire file so they know what to look for in the interview.)

  • The organizer will assign different questions (by number) to the different panelists ahead of time (dividing it up equally).
  • Everyone will join the call and the organizer will welcome everyone, then provide an order of who asks questions first, second, etc. Then the panelists take turns asking their questions and taking notes.
  • I suggest the organizer give a copy of all the questions to each of the panelists ahead of time so they can take appropriate notes.
  • Parents will count uhs, ums and filler words.
  • Each panelist can also add ONE question not on the file so that the student gets to answer extemporaneously (something they didn’t prepare ahead of time.)
  • NO feedback comments from panelists (other than questions) will be made DURING the interview. This is simulating a real interview.
  • At the end of all of the questions, the organizer will say “Thank you for coming today.” That marks the “end” of the formal interview. Next–the feedback session.
  • Then the panelists will take 2-3 minutes each to give feedback verbally. I suggest a “feedback sandwich.”  Say something encouraging first, then the “meat” of what needs to be improved, then something encouraging again. Please do not select panelists who are overly critical—this will not improve the student’s confidence. We are looking for constructive feedback, NOT constructive criticism and there is a difference. It’s the mindset of helping versus a mindset of being critical.
  • The panelists can scan and return their written feedback after the mock panel.

For the actual questions, you can email us at assistant@elliekay.com and ask for Mock Interview Questions.

The World is Going to Know Her Name

Bethany Grace. That name means something. It was the name I had for her two older brothers if they had been born a girl. But then I finally got my Bethany Grace. There’s power in a name. There’s power in THAT name. Bethany Grace. It means “graceful one in the house of God.”

She was born unconventionally with a doctor I’d never met. The base hospital was being closed down in phases and if a mom delivered on two particular weekends a month, she had to go downtown. We had to use the ER doctors and they didn’t know me. But that issue was soon rectified. I arrived in the middle of active labor and I fought for my birth plan and won. The prize? The winners got a beautiful baby girl born in grace and joy.

Long before Alexander Hamilton became a play, the world was going to know her name. Bethany Grace.

I told Bob I didn’t know what to do with a girl, I was the mother of boys that kept a cloth diaper near the changing table to stop a sudden fountain. I knew about boys. I knew about overalls and Tonka trucks. But a girl?

My daughter got two baby showers and we had TONS of dresses that she would soon outgrow so I had to make use of them quickly. Every day Bob came home from flying jets, he saw his baby girl in a different dress with ruffles, bows, lace and bonnets. Our friends were very generous. After two straight weeks of new dresses, he came home one day, shrugged his shoulders, and wryly said, “I guess you figured out what to do with a girl.” Bethany Grace, you are a gift.

She grew in grace with a joy that was contagious and quickly spread to all she met. She laughed and giggled and suddenly the old curmudgeons in the restaurant were laughing and giggling. She had the power to exchange storm clouds for sunshine and butterflies. She still has that power.

She’s used her power wisely–to bring grace to others, to selflessly serve a community of children in Europe and military members around the world. She’s used her power to revitalize an indifferent audience into a mosh pit of excitement and anticipation. Whether she’s speaking to 3 people or 3000, she’s engaged, enigmatic and effervescent. She’s Bethany Grace.

Today, she turns 30 and has much to show for her years– she’s visited 30 countries with no debt, she’s spoken to large audiences and worked her magic on them, she’s become a Godly wife and a couple months ago, she became an unconventional mom. I say unconventional because Caden was born during COVID19 and with a “eventful” pregnancy. I say unconventional because motherhood doesn’t normally come so easily to women the way it did to my daughter. Her child doubled his birth weight in 7 weeks under her expert care. You would have thought this was her 5th child instead of her first. Bethany, there’s no shame in having a smooth transition to motherhood and a fierce love & appreciation for your good little baby.

Bethany Grace, you’ve done right by your name. You have walked gracefully in the House of God and outside of those walls as well. You’ve conquered opposition and oppression along the way. The world may not yet know your name, but YOUR world knows it–your mama & papa, your brothers, your faithful friends, your sweet husband and your precious son. It’s a name that brings a smile to our lips and joy to our hearts. It’s a name that will live eternally in a kingdom far away. It’s a name I love.

Happy Birthday, daughter. Happiest of Birthdays, Bethany Grace.

 

This was written by Ellie Kay as a tribute to her co-host on The Money Millhouse for her birthday. To hear this mother/daughter team in action, go to The Money Millhouse podcast.  

What Does Freedom Mean to You?

The Kay family loves the 4th of July.  That includes 12 of us who appreciate Independence Day and what this holiday represents. However, there are a couple of the Kay family members who loathe the holiday.  I know I shouldn’t single them out, but I’m tired of the way that they take the freedom they enjoy for granted. These Kay family members have never thanked our
Marine, Airman or Soldier for their service, they don’t send care packages when our sons deploy into harm’s way overseas.

I’ve decided I’m going to call them out. After all, who are they to dampen the enthusiasm of millions of revelers on such an important day in our nation’s history? So here it goes:

Belle and Anna—you are ruining the holidays for all of us.

Yes, our two mini schnauzers and granddog would rather bark, whine or run and hide under a bed when they hear fireworks in our neighborhood than appreciate the holiday in all its noisy glory. It’s gotten so bad, that we must get sedatives to get them through the 4th of July each year (to clarify, the sedatives are for them and not us—although I’m tempted.) Poor, unpatriotic puppies are terrified by the Black Cats, M80s and Lady fingers that the neighbor kids fire off every y

Today, I like to thank those who serve as well as those who have served in the past and those who love them. It’s because of these heroes we can enjoy these freedoms. As I reflect on the freedom of speech, the press and religion, I’m grateful to live in the land of the free because of the brave.

I’m also grateful for the opportunity we have through the non-profit Heroes at Home to educate our Airmen, Soldiers, Marines and Sailors in Financial Literacy. Our Money Millhouse podcast and our free show provides our

audiences with four, top-level speakers, a live twitter party and over 100+ door prizes to include free financial books and gift cards. This is all made possible by generous donations from USAA, Experian and other companies as well as individuals like you, who believe in helping our military members stay financially healthy so that they can keep their security clearances and do their important life-and-death work. All our speakers are volunteers and Heroes at Home doesn’t pay honorariums—these educators believe in our military members and their families

 

. Currently, less than 1% of our donations go toward fundraising and over 90% goes directly to the support of educational programs for our troops.

What do I believe freedom means today?

I believe it means a free America.

I believe we can enjoy our freedom because of those who serve and those who love them.

I believe our Creator has freely given us gifts, talents and resources to make the lives of others better.

I believe in those who fight for our freedom both at home and abroad.
I believe in the land of the free because of the brave.

And I believe it’s time to go give those pesky puppies their sedatives before the fireworks begin.

What does freedom mean to YOU today?

 

 

 

 

A Closer Look at Father’s Day

Dad. Papa. Old man. World’s Greatest Fighter Pilot. We call the fathers in our lives a lot of different things (some more well-received than others), but most of us can agree that we appreciate them. With Father’s Day coming up soon, it’s time to start thinking of ways to show that gratitude to your paternal unit.

To celebrate our 100th podcast episode, we invited the fathers & husbands in our life into The Money Millhouse studio to get their spin on our show. Even we (Bethany Bayless and Ellie Kay) were surprised to hear their inputs and we learned something about these great guys and fathers.

According to digital offers destination, RetailMeNot, a survey found more people buy Mother’s Day gifts for mom than Father’s Day gifts for dad (86%* vs. 77%). Other findings include:

•Nearly half (48%) of consumers surveyed believe that people spend more on Mother’s Day gifts than on Father’s Day gifts

•20% of consumers surveyed admit they are more creative with gifts for their mom on Mother’s Day than for their dad on Father’s Day

•Gift cards (17%) and quality time with the family (17%) top dads’ Father’s Day wish lists this year. 

He might act like he enjoys that tie or bottle of hot sauce you get him every single year, but a unique gift every now and then can go a long way. Best of all, it doesn’t have to be expensive. Here are three unique ways to show your father or father figure some love this year, without spending a ton of cash. 

Use Online Coupons: Use RetailMeNot.com, or download the app. Whenever you have an idea of what to get dad, type in that store to get coupons to be used online or in store. You should never have to pay full price when you have coupons so close at hand!

Give dad some time off this year: Use sites like travelzoo.com to find great destination packages for great deals for later this summer or fall. It could even be a weekend getaway close to where he lives–you are able to search by location for the best deals around. 

Customized gift: We’re not talking just coffee mugs or canvas photos here (find these at Walgreens with same day service and coupons on their website or Retail Me Not)… we’re also talking something completely customized and unique. My son Daniel surprised me last Mother’s Day with a framed “Kay Family Rules” listing all the sayings we would tell our kids when they were growing up. It was funny, memorable and something even a father would appreciate.

At other craft sites like Etsy, you’ll find a wide variety of handmade and vintage gifts that can be personalized with a simple note to the seller. They even have a convenient section up right now that lists dad-like items such as guitar pick bracelets, dog tags, robes and phone holders.

Do-it-yourself project: Pinterest is our go to place for ideas. And while it’s another great option for finding a customized gift, it’s an even better starting point for something you can make yourself. For example, if your father has a particularly defined “power stache,” like Papa Kay, there’s a gift on Pinterest for a jar with an outline of a mustache, which can easily be made and personalized yourself. (Plus it makes a pretty good place for him to store his combs, razor and other items.)

The gift of an experience: If you’re lucky enough to live by your dad, one of the most memorable gifts you can give him is simply spending some time with him. You could toss baseballs at the park (while social distancing) cook his favorite meal (barbecue, anyone?) or go to a hike or bike ride. 

When it comes to a Father’s Day gift, a more expensive gift isn’t necessarily a better gift. Put some thought into it and he’ll be happy. Just be sure to call him by one of the names he likes–The World’s Greatest Fighter Pilot agrees.

Ellie Kay
America’s Family Financial Expert (R)

Revive and Thrive Virtual Women’s Conference

In my podcast, The Money Millhouse, we are addressing financial issues for women who make and manage money–especially during a pandemic. We believe in supporting each other.

In these unprecedented times, women need more support and encouragement than ever. We need words of hope and truth to spur us on in our “new normal” and help us live lives of greater joy and purpose despite our circumstances. Revive and Thrive is a virtual conference we’ve created to do just that! I will be presenting “Living Rich for Less.” 

We’ve gathered a group of amazing teachers, speakers, and authors to pour into women’s lives in on a variety of subjects that will educate, equip, inspire, and challenge. Best of all, it can be
enjoyed at your leisure in the privacy and safety of your own home.  As added bonuses, each speaker has offered a free downloadable gift and will personally host one live video chat in the weeks after the conference airs so you can connect with her, ask questions, and interact with other women. My zoom chat will be on June 2 at 4:00 PM PST.

I know that at times I feel I’m doing fine in the midst of sheltering in place despite the fact I’ve cancelled 11 trips (many for business.) I’m trusting that as I continue to do the right things for the right reasons, I can trust God for the results. Watching some of my fellow speakers talk about these very feelings I’m experiencing has been revitalizing for me. One of my biggest takeaways was from Dr. Michelle Bengtson’s talk on “Breaking Anxiety’s Grip” where I learned to say “I get to” instead of “I have to.” That tiny little change was so very hard but it completely changed the way I’m viewing this season of life.

I look forward to seeing how you will revive and thrive as a result of this virtual conference!

Your Money Buddy

As we were our Heroes at Home Financial Event tour (at 45 bases in 5 countries) we often talked about how to follow through on our good intentions when it comes to money matters. The best way to do this is to have a regular money workout with an accountability partner.

A great example of this is these Newlyweds, who just finished their first Sixty Minute Money Workout and they loved it!

They did the “Money Personality” workout and discovered what personality each of them has and how they relate to money.

The number one reason marriages fail is because of arguments about money so if you can learn how to have a good workout, then you can get fiscally fit. You don’t have to be married either, you can have a “money buddy” just as you have a workout partner to help spot you when it comes to lifting weights or kicking it in cross fit.

But it begins with setting proper boundaries, so you can learn to get along and not digress into arguments. This is the same technique I shared on Nightline as I coached a couple on how to fight fair.

Boundaries:

First of all, people need to understand that you don’t have to be a couple in order to do the workout. You can do it by yourself, or with a trusted friend, or even a family member who isn’t your spouse if you are single. But whoever you do the workout with, it’s important to set some boundaries to prepare:
• no condescension or negativity
• no interrupting your workout partner when they are talking
• no name calling
• no throwing food – 🙂
• start by saying one positive thing to each other
• end by saying one positive thing to each other
• create an environment that encourages comfort and success
• have a timer on hand (the one on your phone works well)

Step 1 – 5 Minutes – Make Up Your Mind Warm-Up
Here is where you set your timer for each section. When the timer goes off, then move on! In this section, you set the topic for the hour and begin with a “can do” attitude. It’s important to begin by saying or doing something positive. If you’re working out with a spouse, then begin by taking your spouses hands, looking into their eyes and saying something affirming.

Step 2 – 10 minutes – Strength Training
While step one was to start with affirming words and decide on your money topic, this next section is a time to write down goals on paper so that you will have a tangible and objective standard to work toward. Decide how you would like to see the topic resolved today, in six months and what the outcome of your goals will be in the long run. For example, if your topic is setting up a spend plan, you can also access tools like Mint that will help you in the workout.

Discuss obstacles that have kept you from reaching your goals in the past. If spending too much money on Amazon is slipping you up, then regulate that habit. Or if eating out too often gets you offline, then discuss ways to eliminate that obstacle.

Step 3 – 20 Minutes – Cardio Burn

In this step, you give feet to your goals. If you’re setting up a budget, then you write down the specifics and course of action for your topic of the day. This may not seem like a lot of time on this section, but realize that you may not get it resolved during the first workout. The key is to keep the discussion moving and work on what you can, whatever you missed, you can get the next time around. For example, if you’re looking to pay down debt, then go to Annual Credit Report to order free copies of your credit report. If your topic is improving your credit score, then go to Credit.com to discover where your score is weak and how to improve it. Or listen to a Periscope #CreditChat from@Experian_US. This show is hosted by Rod Griffin, our credit speaker on the Heroes at Home Financial Event tour.
Step 4 – 20 Minutes – Taking Your Heart Rate

If you are making progress on your goal, then continue to do the work. If you have gotten bogged down or you’ve reached a standstill, then use this time to redirect.

For example, if you’re developing a spend plan, and realize you are spending too much in an area, then you could redirect at this time to review this blog and learn quick ways that will help you save money in a variety of categories.
For instance, how to save on groceries.  We’ve saved over $160,000 in the last 20 years by employing a variety of tips I discuss in my books and blog.

Step 5 – 5 Minutes – Congratulations Cool Down
The workout has gone by quickly and now the last 5 minutes are dedicated to the “Congratulations Cool Down.” End your workout and sit back, grab a glass of something cool to drink and reflect on all you’ve accomplished in just one hour! You started on a positive note and you’re going to end positive as well. Take this time to tell your partner one thing that you appreciate about today’s workout in order to end the discussion well.

Keep in mind that just as you don’t get physically buff in just one workout, your finances aren’t going to get in shape after the first try either. But after you and your mate have exercised with this money workout a half a dozen times you’ll find you are making progress that can revolutionize your finances in only an hour a week!

For a free “Sixty Money Workout” review sheet available on our podcast, The Money Millhouse, just visit the website to download the free resource.

There’s never been a better time to get on the same page regarding finances–do it today!

Ellie Kay
America’s Family Financial Expert (R)

Family Travel: Fly or Drive?

I remember my dad stuffing us kids in the back of a VW bug and traveling from TX to IN, making about 600 miles per day. Need I say more?

This is the time of year when families are looking toward the upcoming spring break family time or even summer plans

Here are some ideas that will make your family trip a lot more fun and affordable.

Valentines Day

Even after 30 years of marriage, Valentines Day is still consider an important day in the Kay house! In our large family, I would also get the boys a card/gift and Bob would get our daughter the same. Today, I send Valentines to my grands and my single sons. That can add up, when you also add in my main Valentine–the old fighter pilot.

But you don’t have to spend a lot for your gift to mean a lot, here are some ideas that may help.

Is it OK to Scrimp on Valentine’s Day?

For Valentine’s Day, you might feel the need to pull out all the stops, but it’s not necessary. Sure, some people want to celebrate the holiday in a lavish way, but others prefer to go the low-key route. Whether you fit into these descriptions or fall somewhere in the middle, there are a romantic date ideas for Valentine’s Day or the weekend before that suit every budget.

The Least Expensive Way to Spend Feb 14th

After a home-cooked meal, snuggle up with your honey and enjoy a movie night on the cheap. Look for specials at Redbox and get a romantic dramedy plus an action movie to keep both of you happy. If you are “zero tv” and have netflix, hulu, or amazon prime member then you have access to free movies that are not available for free to non-members. You may not even be aware of the freebies offered, so be sure to check them out.

Gifts that Give to Non-Profits

By shopping at amazon, you can give the gift that gives! If you haven’t link

ed your amazon account to the amazon smile option, then do that right away. Every purchase you make will benefit Heroes at Home and they’ll make a contribution to our non-profit that helps military members by helping to provide free financial education.

 

Flower Power

When it comes to flowers, you usually get what you pay for and one way to cut costs is to hand deliver, this can save anywhere from $8 to $20. You could look at GrouponLiving Social for offers such as $20 for $40 worth of flowers with FTD.

One kind of fun option reminds me of one of my favorite romantic comedies, “Kate and Leopold” and that is to give flowers with specific meanings. Go to TheFlowerExpert.com to find out the meaning of different flowers. For example, red roses mean romantic love while a bouquet of mixed roses means “I don’t know my feelings about you yet, but I’m sending you roses anyway.” Carnations are a less expensive option and a red carnation conveys love pride, beauty and admiration. Daisys are also inexpensive and convey “loyal love.” A sunflower symbolizes pure thoughts. So you can select a cheaper flower if, and only if, you write a note explaining the meaning of the flower and why you chose it for your true love.

Dinner and a Show

Going out for dinner seems to be a Valentine’s Day mainstay and dinner for two can range anywhere from $20 to $200 or more. How to you have a nice meal without sending a signal to your mate that you want to spend as little as possible? After all, aren’t they worth a splurge on Valentine’s Day?

There are quite a few ways to save a lot in this area and still have a nice time together. Lunch or brunch can be half the price of dinner and you could go on the Sunday before the big day. In fact, some restaurants are offering prix fix menus for the weekend or entire Valentine week. Go to your favorite restaurant’s twitter or facebook page and see what specials they are offering to get the best value. Some of these values are only offered to social media friends.

You can also go to restaurant.com where gift certificates have gone on sale this week. You can get a $25 gift certificate for your favorite restaurant for as little as $6 by entering the coupon code found at RetailMeNot. Check community billboards at your local chamber of commerce website. For example, in our area, a local Greek center is offering a romantic, candlelight dinner for two with champagne, flowers, dinner and dancing for $50 a person. While this may not seem like a bargain at first, when you add up the cost of the individual items like the food, flowers, bottle of bubbly and a cover charge you would have to pay to dance, it’s an all inclusive deal that is sure to please. Plus, you can learn how to dance the Kalamatianos, a traditional Greek dance. Can you say, “My Big Fat Greek Wedding!”?

Great Dates that Double As A Great Gift

Right now, there are some great deals to be had at Travelzoo such as a quick, 2 night getaway on a $299 cruise, with an oceanview room. Bob and I took a cruise this way and really loved it. This week, there are also really nice hotels from Orlando to Seattle that range from $49 to $99 a night. Or, if you want to get up, up and away, there’s a $125 two hour helicopter ride featured.

Ellie Kay

America’s Family Financial Expert (R)

1 2 3 47