A Financial Education Event
     

The World is Going to Know Her Name

Bethany Grace. That name means something. It was the name I had for her two older brothers if they had been born a girl. But then I finally got my Bethany Grace. There’s power in a name. There’s power in THAT name. Bethany Grace. It means “graceful one in the house of God.”

She was born unconventionally with a doctor I’d never met. The base hospital was being closed down in phases and if a mom delivered on two particular weekends a month, she had to go downtown. We had to use the ER doctors and they didn’t know me. But that issue was soon rectified. I arrived in the middle of active labor and I fought for my birth plan and won. The prize? The winners got a beautiful baby girl born in grace and joy.

Long before Alexander Hamilton became a play, the world was going to know her name. Bethany Grace.

I told Bob I didn’t know what to do with a girl, I was the mother of boys that kept a cloth diaper near the changing table to stop a sudden fountain. I knew about boys. I knew about overalls and Tonka trucks. But a girl?

My daughter got two baby showers and we had TONS of dresses that she would soon outgrow so I had to make use of them quickly. Every day Bob came home from flying jets, he saw his baby girl in a different dress with ruffles, bows, lace and bonnets. Our friends were very generous. After two straight weeks of new dresses, he came home one day, shrugged his shoulders, and wryly said, “I guess you figured out what to do with a girl.” Bethany Grace, you are a gift.

She grew in grace with a joy that was contagious and quickly spread to all she met. She laughed and giggled and suddenly the old curmudgeons in the restaurant were laughing and giggling. She had the power to exchange storm clouds for sunshine and butterflies. She still has that power.

She’s used her power wisely–to bring grace to others, to selflessly serve a community of children in Europe and military members around the world. She’s used her power to revitalize an indifferent audience into a mosh pit of excitement and anticipation. Whether she’s speaking to 3 people or 3000, she’s engaged, enigmatic and effervescent. She’s Bethany Grace.

Today, she turns 30 and has much to show for her years– she’s visited 30 countries with no debt, she’s spoken to large audiences and worked her magic on them, she’s become a Godly wife and a couple months ago, she became an unconventional mom. I say unconventional because Caden was born during COVID19 and with a “eventful” pregnancy. I say unconventional because motherhood doesn’t normally come so easily to women the way it did to my daughter. Her child doubled his birth weight in 7 weeks under her expert care. You would have thought this was her 5th child instead of her first. Bethany, there’s no shame in having a smooth transition to motherhood and a fierce love & appreciation for your good little baby.

Bethany Grace, you’ve done right by your name. You have walked gracefully in the House of God and outside of those walls as well. You’ve conquered opposition and oppression along the way. The world may not yet know your name, but YOUR world knows it–your mama & papa, your brothers, your faithful friends, your sweet husband and your precious son. It’s a name that brings a smile to our lips and joy to our hearts. It’s a name that will live eternally in a kingdom far away. It’s a name I love.

Happy Birthday, daughter. Happiest of Birthdays, Bethany Grace.

 

This was written by Ellie Kay as a tribute to her co-host on The Money Millhouse for her birthday. To hear this mother/daughter team in action, go to The Money Millhouse podcast.  

What Does Freedom Mean to You?

The Kay family loves the 4th of July.  That includes 12 of us who appreciate Independence Day and what this holiday represents. However, there are a couple of the Kay family members who loathe the holiday.  I know I shouldn’t single them out, but I’m tired of the way that they take the freedom they enjoy for granted. These Kay family members have never thanked our
Marine, Airman or Soldier for their service, they don’t send care packages when our sons deploy into harm’s way overseas.

I’ve decided I’m going to call them out. After all, who are they to dampen the enthusiasm of millions of revelers on such an important day in our nation’s history? So here it goes:

Belle and Anna—you are ruining the holidays for all of us.

Yes, our two mini schnauzers and granddog would rather bark, whine or run and hide under a bed when they hear fireworks in our neighborhood than appreciate the holiday in all its noisy glory. It’s gotten so bad, that we must get sedatives to get them through the 4th of July each year (to clarify, the sedatives are for them and not us—although I’m tempted.) Poor, unpatriotic puppies are terrified by the Black Cats, M80s and Lady fingers that the neighbor kids fire off every y

Today, I like to thank those who serve as well as those who have served in the past and those who love them. It’s because of these heroes we can enjoy these freedoms. As I reflect on the freedom of speech, the press and religion, I’m grateful to live in the land of the free because of the brave.

I’m also grateful for the opportunity we have through the non-profit Heroes at Home to educate our Airmen, Soldiers, Marines and Sailors in Financial Literacy. Our Money Millhouse podcast and our free show provides our

audiences with four, top-level speakers, a live twitter party and over 100+ door prizes to include free financial books and gift cards. This is all made possible by generous donations from USAA, Experian and other companies as well as individuals like you, who believe in helping our military members stay financially healthy so that they can keep their security clearances and do their important life-and-death work. All our speakers are volunteers and Heroes at Home doesn’t pay honorariums—these educators believe in our military members and their families

 

. Currently, less than 1% of our donations go toward fundraising and over 90% goes directly to the support of educational programs for our troops.

What do I believe freedom means today?

I believe it means a free America.

I believe we can enjoy our freedom because of those who serve and those who love them.

I believe our Creator has freely given us gifts, talents and resources to make the lives of others better.

I believe in those who fight for our freedom both at home and abroad.
I believe in the land of the free because of the brave.

And I believe it’s time to go give those pesky puppies their sedatives before the fireworks begin.

What does freedom mean to YOU today?

 

 

 

 

A Closer Look at Father’s Day

Dad. Papa. Old man. World’s Greatest Fighter Pilot. We call the fathers in our lives a lot of different things (some more well-received than others), but most of us can agree that we appreciate them. With Father’s Day coming up soon, it’s time to start thinking of ways to show that gratitude to your paternal unit.

To celebrate our 100th podcast episode, we invited the fathers & husbands in our life into The Money Millhouse studio to get their spin on our show. Even we (Bethany Bayless and Ellie Kay) were surprised to hear their inputs and we learned something about these great guys and fathers.

According to digital offers destination, RetailMeNot, a survey found more people buy Mother’s Day gifts for mom than Father’s Day gifts for dad (86%* vs. 77%). Other findings include:

•Nearly half (48%) of consumers surveyed believe that people spend more on Mother’s Day gifts than on Father’s Day gifts

•20% of consumers surveyed admit they are more creative with gifts for their mom on Mother’s Day than for their dad on Father’s Day

•Gift cards (17%) and quality time with the family (17%) top dads’ Father’s Day wish lists this year. 

He might act like he enjoys that tie or bottle of hot sauce you get him every single year, but a unique gift every now and then can go a long way. Best of all, it doesn’t have to be expensive. Here are three unique ways to show your father or father figure some love this year, without spending a ton of cash. 

Use Online Coupons: Use RetailMeNot.com, or download the app. Whenever you have an idea of what to get dad, type in that store to get coupons to be used online or in store. You should never have to pay full price when you have coupons so close at hand!

Give dad some time off this year: Use sites like travelzoo.com to find great destination packages for great deals for later this summer or fall. It could even be a weekend getaway close to where he lives–you are able to search by location for the best deals around. 

Customized gift: We’re not talking just coffee mugs or canvas photos here (find these at Walgreens with same day service and coupons on their website or Retail Me Not)… we’re also talking something completely customized and unique. My son Daniel surprised me last Mother’s Day with a framed “Kay Family Rules” listing all the sayings we would tell our kids when they were growing up. It was funny, memorable and something even a father would appreciate.

At other craft sites like Etsy, you’ll find a wide variety of handmade and vintage gifts that can be personalized with a simple note to the seller. They even have a convenient section up right now that lists dad-like items such as guitar pick bracelets, dog tags, robes and phone holders.

Do-it-yourself project: Pinterest is our go to place for ideas. And while it’s another great option for finding a customized gift, it’s an even better starting point for something you can make yourself. For example, if your father has a particularly defined “power stache,” like Papa Kay, there’s a gift on Pinterest for a jar with an outline of a mustache, which can easily be made and personalized yourself. (Plus it makes a pretty good place for him to store his combs, razor and other items.)

The gift of an experience: If you’re lucky enough to live by your dad, one of the most memorable gifts you can give him is simply spending some time with him. You could toss baseballs at the park (while social distancing) cook his favorite meal (barbecue, anyone?) or go to a hike or bike ride. 

When it comes to a Father’s Day gift, a more expensive gift isn’t necessarily a better gift. Put some thought into it and he’ll be happy. Just be sure to call him by one of the names he likes–The World’s Greatest Fighter Pilot agrees.

Ellie Kay
America’s Family Financial Expert (R)

Your Money Buddy

As we were our Heroes at Home Financial Event tour (at 45 bases in 5 countries) we often talked about how to follow through on our good intentions when it comes to money matters. The best way to do this is to have a regular money workout with an accountability partner.

A great example of this is these Newlyweds, who just finished their first Sixty Minute Money Workout and they loved it!

They did the “Money Personality” workout and discovered what personality each of them has and how they relate to money.

The number one reason marriages fail is because of arguments about money so if you can learn how to have a good workout, then you can get fiscally fit. You don’t have to be married either, you can have a “money buddy” just as you have a workout partner to help spot you when it comes to lifting weights or kicking it in cross fit.

But it begins with setting proper boundaries, so you can learn to get along and not digress into arguments. This is the same technique I shared on Nightline as I coached a couple on how to fight fair.

Boundaries:

First of all, people need to understand that you don’t have to be a couple in order to do the workout. You can do it by yourself, or with a trusted friend, or even a family member who isn’t your spouse if you are single. But whoever you do the workout with, it’s important to set some boundaries to prepare:
• no condescension or negativity
• no interrupting your workout partner when they are talking
• no name calling
• no throwing food – 🙂
• start by saying one positive thing to each other
• end by saying one positive thing to each other
• create an environment that encourages comfort and success
• have a timer on hand (the one on your phone works well)

Step 1 – 5 Minutes – Make Up Your Mind Warm-Up
Here is where you set your timer for each section. When the timer goes off, then move on! In this section, you set the topic for the hour and begin with a “can do” attitude. It’s important to begin by saying or doing something positive. If you’re working out with a spouse, then begin by taking your spouses hands, looking into their eyes and saying something affirming.

Step 2 – 10 minutes – Strength Training
While step one was to start with affirming words and decide on your money topic, this next section is a time to write down goals on paper so that you will have a tangible and objective standard to work toward. Decide how you would like to see the topic resolved today, in six months and what the outcome of your goals will be in the long run. For example, if your topic is setting up a spend plan, you can also access tools like Mint that will help you in the workout.

Discuss obstacles that have kept you from reaching your goals in the past. If spending too much money on Amazon is slipping you up, then regulate that habit. Or if eating out too often gets you offline, then discuss ways to eliminate that obstacle.

Step 3 – 20 Minutes – Cardio Burn

In this step, you give feet to your goals. If you’re setting up a budget, then you write down the specifics and course of action for your topic of the day. This may not seem like a lot of time on this section, but realize that you may not get it resolved during the first workout. The key is to keep the discussion moving and work on what you can, whatever you missed, you can get the next time around. For example, if you’re looking to pay down debt, then go to Annual Credit Report to order free copies of your credit report. If your topic is improving your credit score, then go to Credit.com to discover where your score is weak and how to improve it. Or listen to a Periscope #CreditChat from@Experian_US. This show is hosted by Rod Griffin, our credit speaker on the Heroes at Home Financial Event tour.
Step 4 – 20 Minutes – Taking Your Heart Rate

If you are making progress on your goal, then continue to do the work. If you have gotten bogged down or you’ve reached a standstill, then use this time to redirect.

For example, if you’re developing a spend plan, and realize you are spending too much in an area, then you could redirect at this time to review this blog and learn quick ways that will help you save money in a variety of categories.
For instance, how to save on groceries.  We’ve saved over $160,000 in the last 20 years by employing a variety of tips I discuss in my books and blog.

Step 5 – 5 Minutes – Congratulations Cool Down
The workout has gone by quickly and now the last 5 minutes are dedicated to the “Congratulations Cool Down.” End your workout and sit back, grab a glass of something cool to drink and reflect on all you’ve accomplished in just one hour! You started on a positive note and you’re going to end positive as well. Take this time to tell your partner one thing that you appreciate about today’s workout in order to end the discussion well.

Keep in mind that just as you don’t get physically buff in just one workout, your finances aren’t going to get in shape after the first try either. But after you and your mate have exercised with this money workout a half a dozen times you’ll find you are making progress that can revolutionize your finances in only an hour a week!

For a free “Sixty Money Workout” review sheet available on our podcast, The Money Millhouse, just visit the website to download the free resource.

There’s never been a better time to get on the same page regarding finances–do it today!

Ellie Kay
America’s Family Financial Expert (R)

Thanksgiving Traditions

Thankful Traditions

The Kay family photo for Woman’s Day magazine.

Back when my co-host of The Money Millhouse was just a little girl with a big smile, we created memories through holiday traditions.

One of the things I discovered is that not every “savings” can be measured in dollars and cents. One of the things we emphasized in our family is the saving of memories. Our Thankful Tree was featured in a Woman’s Day magazine one year. It took two photographers 8 rolls of film and four hours to get one 3 x 5 photo in the magazine. Joshua was missing for one roll of film and we didn’t notice until we saw him making faces from behind the photographers and we asked, “What are you doing back there?”

The tip we gave is how we’ve stayed in touch with family and friends during this holiday. On November 1st, we made a Thankful Tree on poster board and put it on our wall or front door. The tree was bare because the leaves that we made out of construction paper have not yet been gathered. The leaves have the person’s name on them and say, “Papa is thankful for _________.” But we left the tree bare at the beginning of the season to teach the children how barren our lives are without the giving of thanks.

We made and sent the leaves to friends and family around the world along with a self-addressed envelope. When these envelopes came back, the children got excited as they took turns opening them. At dinner that night, we read the leaf and give thanks along with those who are thankful and put the leaf on our tree. By Thanksgiving Day, we had a tree full of thanks. We carefully saved the leaves in an envelope marked by the year and kept all in our Thanksgiving decoration box. Each year, we read the leaves from past years.

We never know when this year’s leaf might be someone’s last, or which family might have a new leaf on next year’s tree. So we give thanks.  These days, we gather “thankful comments” from facebook, email and twitter, but the point is we are connecting with friends and family in a meaningful way.

This holiday, what are YOU thankful for?  Besides our health and our family, we are thankful for two weddings this year, healthy grandchildren, and the chance to be together during the holidays.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Ellie Kay

 

Service Academies and Military Funded Education

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 I recently spoke at Congresswoman Katie Hill’s (25th Congressional District) Military Academy night.  The audience members were parents and students in high school.   These federal academies are highly competitive and look at the whole person. So it’s not enough to be a brainianc (super smart), they are also looking for students who are exceptional in the area of athletics, community involvement and leadership.  In return for this amazing education valued at $450,000, your student will be required to serve in the military for their “commitment” period. The commitment is a minimum of 5 years of service and can be longer, depending on a number of factors in regards to additional training after graduation.  If you have a “hero at home” who wants to go to a service academy, there are several things to keep in mind.


One of the first places to visit is your service academy’s admissions site:

USAFA – The United States Air Force Academy

USNA – The United States Naval Academy
USMA — The United States Military Academy

USMMA  The Merchant Marine Academy

USCGA    Coast Guard Academy (does not require a congressional nomination)

From Prospect to Appointee:  

  • Prospect: A student who has filled out the initial response form showing interest. This means they are essentially on an admissions mailing list. You can fill this out as early as middle school by going to the academy’s website.
  • Applicant: The individual has filled out a pre-candidate questionnaire and provided initial info on PSAT/SAT/ACT scores, grades and extra-curricular activities. This is usually done NO LATER than the spring of their junior year. This is also the time to contact your congressman and senator in regards to a nomination. In addition, if the student’s parent is qualified for a Presidential nomination, (see nominations and appointments below) then the student can contact the academy directly to pursue this nomination as well.
  • Candidate: To move from applicant to candidate indicates that you have cleared your first competitive hurdle. This step is decided by the Academies admissions staff in the early summer of a student’s Senior year. Not all students will get to this point, but this is when they will be interviewed by the Academy Liaison Officer (or the equivalent). It is from this list that appointments will be offered as early as the fall. For example, one of our sons was offered an USNA appointment by October.
  • Appointee: This means that the candidate has been offered an appointment into the Academy. They can choose to accept it or turn it down, but it means they have not only received an official nomination, but they have also been approved by the Academy’s admissions board and offered an actual appointment.

The Essay

It’s never too early to begin to think about what you would like to write in your admissions application essay. These are very important and should be well thought out before submitting. Be sure to have you liaison officer review it before you submit it or ask an academy graduate to help. It also wouldn’t hurt to have a faculty member from your school review it as well. More eyes on the project can mean a broader perspective, but it still needs to be your own voice, so you will have the final word on the essay.

Memorial Day and #HonorThroughAction

Gold Star Family

Being part of a gold star family is like being part of an honored and exclusive club—but one that no one wants to join. The gold star indicates that a member of that family died while serving their country. We are a three-star blue star family, which means that we currently have three family members serving with sons in the Marines, Air Force and Army. We’ve weathered deployments to Afghanistan and Iraq—praying our way through each day they were there. We never want to add another gold star to our family.

Yes, our family is a gold star family because of my Grandfather, SSGT Walter Rawleigh, a bombardier on a B-24. He was on his 47thmission in Madang, Papua New Guinea. Fully gassed and loaded with bombs, the “Cisco Kid II” had an engine malfunction on take-off and crashed into an encampment of Seabees having breakfast. Ten members of the crew and 165 Seabees suddenly died that day. Obviously, I never knew my grandfather and my dad was a young child when his father perished. I know that my father, Chief Master Sgt Rodger Rawleigh, USAF (Ret) was inspired to serve because of the fact his dad never came back from war.

 

Memorial Day

Memorial Day is about gold star families and should not be confused with Veteran’s Day. The latter is a day which honors all who have served in the United States military. A memorial is a remembrance of those who paid the ultimate sacrifice. It’s not a day to say, “Happy Memorial Day,” even though many Americans have a day off. Many will use that time to picnic and enjoy their families and friends. In fact, the original tradition of this day was to eat a picnic while sitting on the grounds of a cemetery.

This national holiday was first recognized by Congress in 1971 and before that time it was known as Decoration Day, which originated shortly after the Civil war. Besides my Grandfather’s tragic accident, 645,000 Americans have given their lives in defense of our freedoms. What can we do to appropriately honor those who died? I’m glad you asked.

 

The Poppy

 Honoring our fallen with a poppy is a tradition that was inspired by the poem crafted in 1915
entitled, “In Flanders Fields.” It was written by Lt. Col John McCrae after he lost a friend during WWI.  McCrae’s poem inspired Moina Michael, an American professor and volunteer for the American YWCA, to write a response poem, “We Shall Keep the Faith,” vowing to wear a red poppy as a symbol of remembrance.

Michaels campaigned to have the red poppy adopted as a national symbol of remembrance and, with help from Anna Guerin and the 1920 National American Legion Conference, the poppy became the official symbol of remembrance.

But it’s not limited to our country, the poppy is used as a symbol of remembrance all over the world. Along with the American Legion, we encourage people to wear or display a poppy on this weekend to remember those who lost their lives in battle.

 

Virtual Poppy Field

I invite everyone to join the conversation online using #honorthroughaction and share your story. What does Memorial Day mean to you? Who are you honoring? You can visit www.poppyinmemory.com to dedicate a digital poppy to a fallen hero or as a gesture of appreciation for those who have sacrificed all. It only takes minutes to participate and I want to thank USAAwho are sponsoring this initiative and for all their help in Heroes at Home.

Honor the fallen today.

5 Do’s and Don’ts For a Smooth Transition to College or A Service Academy

When my daughter, Bethany was 4 years old, we called her “Bunny” because she hopped from heart to heart. She loved to play with her little girlfriends and one afternoon she spent the entire afternoon with Amanda. She was a little girl who felt life deeply and could go from being on top of the world to the depths of despair in nanoseconds.

When I picked her up from her friend’s she bounced to the car and chatted all the way home. We walked in the door and I asked her how Amanda’s older sister was doing. Suddenly, she began to sob, uncontrollably.

“What’s wrong, Bunny?” I handed her a Kleenex.

“I don’t want to leave you, Mama!” she wailed.

“Why would you think you have to leave?” I was really confused.

She looked at me through her tears, “To go to COLLEGE.”

Apparently Amanda’s older sister was preparing to move to go to college and Bethany couldn’t imagine a day when she would have to leave her Papa and myself to go to school. The good news is that fourteen years later, she was a little bit more prepared when she moved from California to Chicago to go to college. She got a B.A. in Communications, with an emphasis in Electronic Media and was in her element.

Today, Bethany and I host The Money Millhousepodcast and still get just as emotional, on occasion, while putting her college degree to good use. We made a point of preparing Bunny and all the Kay kids for college, long before they went to Freshman orientation. Three of the Kay kids went to service academies, which meant they only had less than a month at home after high school graduation.

Whether you are prepping kids to go to a civilian university or whether they are going a service academy like three of our sons (USMA, USAFA, USNA) here’s some “homework” in the form of five do’s and don’ts to make a smooth move.   

  1. Don’t – Fill up free time with friends at the expense of family. 
  • Friends come and go but family is forever.
  • Only a small percentage of your friends from high school will still be your BFFs throughout college. Less than 2% of boyfriend/girlfriend relationships will last until

    college graduation.

          Do – Tell your mama (and papa) that you love them early and often.

  • Mend fences and build bridges with family members.
  • Expect there to be some pre-separation anxiety on both sides (parents and kids) so give each other a lot of grace.
  • Students, please understand that this is hard on your parents, especially if you are moving away to go to school.
  • Parents, understand that this is hard on your kid because they are about to go do something they’ve never done before. For those going to service academies, it’s going to be big and scary and you won’t be there.
  • Students, take the time to thank your parents, grandparents, friends, educators and coaches.
  1. Don’t – Take a break from physical fitness, especially if attending a Service Academy.
  • My husband, Bob, and our son, Jonathan, went to The Air Force Academy and they used to say that “The Air Force Academy is at an altitude of 7258 feet—far far above Annapolis or West Point.” That’s why physical fitness was important.
  • If you’re going to a service academy, you’re going to take a Physical Fitness Test as soon as you get there.
  • Engage in risky behavior, now is not the time to push the limits legally or physically. Don’t take up space jumping or quad racing because a broken limb could cost an appointee their service academy appointment.

          Do – Continue to workout and make wise choices.

  • Physical fitness is a healthy way to cope with pressure in college.
  • Even if you go on a family vacation or have a lot of things to do.
  • For service academy appointees, run 3 miles 3-4 times a week and then do 50 pushups and 50 sit ups every day.
  1. Don’t – Make this all about you.
  • Parents, don’t create drama before they go or after they’ve gone.
  • Moms, don’t sob and cry and tell them you don’t’ know how you’re going to survive without them. Shedding a few tears is OK, but doing what Oprah calls “the ugly cry” isn’t all right.
  • Parental, sibling or significant other drama is a distraction to the service academy appointee going through basic cadet training or “beast.” Distractions can lead to accidents and accidents can lead to a turn back (meaning they have to go home.)
  • Don’t post a bunch of “poor me-isms” on social media

          Do – Keep it positive. 

  • Right now, service academy portals will have a mailing address for the student. Give this address to friends and family and with your network because cards and letters mean everything during basic training. “Basics” aren’t allowed access to computers, phones or social media.
  • Do send simple cards and letters – no perfume on the cards, no kissy marks on the envelopes, no care packages during beast, and no food. After beast is over, you can send these.
  • Do tell your student funny stories about a younger sibling or the dog.
  • Do send pictures of the dog or pet.
  • Do keep it light and not heavy.Students, do make your social media channels private or have them go dormant.
  • Do clean up these channels because you never know what the cadre will get ahold of and you don’t want to embarrass yourself or become a targ
  1. Don’t –Be Han Solo – you don’t have to do this alone.
  • My husband’s advice to our sons for basic cadet training was. “Keep your mouth shut and help your classmates.”
  • Don’t stand out as the first, the most knowledgeable or the best or worst
  • For parents, don’t go this journey alone, join a parents club or booster club.
  • Remember, parents, sometimes you don’t know what you don’t know.

          Do – Be a team player.

  • Look for ways you can help others get through Beast.
  • The friendships you make in BCT and college will last a lifetime. My husband, Bob and I just had dinner with a classmate of USAFA class of l978.
  • Do take advantage of the sponsor family program, a program that allows local families to “adopt” a cadet or midshipman.Some of these friendships may become like a second family—or at least get you to the airport.
  • Parents, do join a parents clubfor your respective service academy. Your civilian friends don’t get it, other service academy parents do understand the unique situation your family faces.
  1. Don’t – Ever forget the “why” of what this education and your career means.
  • Service Academy Appointees are choosing something hard, something their civilian friends will never understand, but there’s a big “why.” They want to serve their country as officers.
  • During BCT and during your 4 years there, you’ll have to sometimes take life a meal at a time, a day at a time.
  • Parents, don’t forget that being a good parent means you let them fly and you support their choice to serve. You don’t have to like it or feel good about what those choices may include.
  • Parents, DON’T borrow tomorrow’s trouble. While they are there, they are safe, they are not deployed, they are not in harm’s way. Today has enough challenges of its own without borrowing on tomorrow. As long as they are in training, they aren’t in combat. If and when that day happens, you’ll have the strength you need to cope. We know this, having had one son serve in a combat zone in both Afghanistan and Iraq.
  • Appointees, remember your goals in getting through BCT and the academy—to fly, to serve, to go into cyber security or intel, or missles or space. Your goal is much bigger than BCT and that’s why you’ll get through.

Do –  Remember the Legacy

  • You are part of a long line of military service.
  • Think about the parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts or uncles who have ever served. You are part of that legacy.
  • Your legacy keeps American free.
  • Putting on a uniform doesn’t make someone a hero, but those who put on that uniform and serve with integrity first, service before self and excellence in all they do—that’s pretty heroic.
  • There’s another kind of hero as well, the Heroes at Homeand those are the parents, siblings, grandparents and family members of those who serve. America thanks you as well. 

“It starts and ends with character, and it’s a journey, not a destination. Leadership is a gift, and it is given to us by those who follow.”

General David Goldfein

Air Force Chief of Staff

 

 

Are You Teachable?

When I was a young mom, we had five babies in seven years and moved 11 times in 13 years. While on that journey and at my husband’s urging, I decided to go back to school and finish my Bachelor’s degree. Yes, I went back into the classroom between babies #3 and #4 to reach that personal goal. Colorado Christian University had a program designed for adults who worked full time and taking care of all those kids was a full-time job! In my class were other adults including Madeline, a 70-year-old great-grandma who wanted to finish her Bachelor’s degree. When the professor asked each of us our motivation for enrolling in this difficult, accelerated program, Madeline sweetly replied,

“I always want to keep learning and remain teachable.”

She became my hero that day.

Madeline finished the program and walked the stage with the rest of us, then she went on to publish three books—always remaining teachable.

As a veteran speaker of 2000+ paid gigs, an author of 15 published books, a spokesperson for 100+ brands, and a media veteran of 2800 interviews, I’m often asked to mentor neophytes on how to succeed in these areas. It seems that everyone (and their mama) wants to write a book, become a brand ambassador or launch a professional speaker career. That’s cool, it’s great to have dreams. Many have read that they should “go to someone who is successfully doing what you want to do.”  Consequently, some will come to me. That’s not a bad thing, that’s what I did when I started out. I’ve received hundreds of requests for this kind of coaching and the requests infer a pro bono offering. This can be overwhelming.

How do you decide who to mentor when you have a limited amount of time?

My answer:  they must be teachable.

I have a business and non-profit to run, a podcast to push out, a husband to flirt with, and several grandbabies to visit. Time is limited and I can’t take every meeting that I’m asked to take. How do I decide who gets a meeting and who will get the closed door answer: “I’m honored you would ask, but I regret to say that I cannot accept.”

I’m not alone, you’re probably juggling work and home, trying to find that work/ life balance that is ever illusive. You need to know what meetings to take and which ones deserve a pass. Or, you may be the person asking for the meeting—why should the experienced veteran in your field, take a meeting with you?

They need to be teachable.

Just like Madeline, are you willing to humble yourself, do the work you’re asked to do and realize that you have something to learn?

I’ve found that the least teachable people are those who feel they have nothing to learn. Some of the worst speakers I’ve ever heard are Generals, CEOs, actors, teachers, and preachers—those who speak in front of groups often. They feel that because they are already doing it, they don’t need to improve. The English teacher who is not a publishable author feels she knows her grammar, but that doesn’t mean she can write a book. The professional speaker, who can’t make the leap to media interviews because he doesn’t know how to deliver a sound bite. You get the idea.

I have several ways of vetting someone before I take a meeting. For example, I’ll send them a file on the topic they want to discuss with me, “call me after you’ve read the file and we’ll set up a time to answer your questions.” Roughly 9.5 out of 10 never read the file—BAM! I don’t take that meeting.

Or for those who want to be speakers, I’ll say, “attend a Toastmasters meeting and then we can talk.” But they don’t do the bare minimum—attend one, little meeting! In both vetting cases, the proposed mentee feels they are advanced well beyond the need to read a file or attend a meeting.

The same thing happens at conferences, when attendees have a chance to speak with the faculty to talk about their work. Occasionally, a faculty member or speaker will request more material from an attendee.  According to my literary agent, Steve Laube (super agent extraordinaire) 9 out of 10 attendees never send him their info on the rare occasion he requests it. It’s a huge open door that they won’t walk through due to fear, laziness or procrastination.

After I spoke at FinCon one year on the topic of monetizing brand ambassadorships, an attendee followed up with me as I requested. She did her research, followed my advice and today, she’s a very successful brand ambassador. You can read about “The Budgetnista” and see the work she’s doing in the space—a truly teachable lady who found success.

Madeline, from my CCU class all those years ago, remains a hero of mine and I want to grow up to be like her. Towards that end, even after 25 years as a professional speaker, I remain teachable in my primary areas. I attend Shop Talk Toastmasters, and practice new material, receiving feedback from those Toastmasters. After every speech that my speaking team does with the Heroes at Home Financial Event, I get feedback on the presentation from my team. This way, I continue to learn and grow.

Are you teachable?

Are you willing to do the work?

Do you have a way to vet your time to determine what meetings you’ll take?

Have you ever been asked for a response from someone in your field of interest and what did you do?

For more information on how to structure your work/life balance, listen to our interview on the Money Millhouse with an exceptional life coach, Ann Vanino.

Where ever you go and whatever you do, remaining teachable is the best way to grow and continue to find success along the journey.

Coffee Is On Us at The Coolest New Financial Podcast on the Planet!

Live, from Ellie’s kitchen table… it’s The Money Millhouse!

WELCOME TO THE FINANCIAL SHOW ANYONE CAN LISTEN TO!

The conversation gets lively and somewhat ridiculous when Ellie and Bethany share a cup of coffee (or four) over Ellie’s kitchen table. They not only have fun at The Money Millhouse, their conversations about saving money, couples communication, spend plans, super heroes and more make you feel like you are drinking coffee right along with them. Coffee, friends, money, sometimes random singing… what could be better?

Each week on this little-over-20-minute podcast, a special guest joins Ellie and Bethany at the table to discuss relevant money-related issues. From saving for retirement and credit chats, to home-based business tips and maybe a thing or two about what Star Wars has to do with coffee, there is always something to talk about.

The Money Millhouse will teach you while entertaining you with offbeat humor, geek-speak and money tips you never knew existed. If you can put up with Ellie’s annoying dogs announcing the next guest to come to Ellie’s door for a cup of Joe and a light hearted but important conversation, then you’ll get the maximum return on your time investment.

Come on in to The Money Millhouse, where we brew up money saving tips and tricks for anyone’s lifestyle. You might even learn a few secrets in the Millhouse closet.

This week, the show kicks off with a bang when Bethany

and Ellie talk about saving money when it comes to eating healthy including menu planning and tips at the grocery store. Start your menu planning by looking into your pantry and avoid wastage. Danna Demetre joins the conversation talking about the fact that the same principles to save money are the same when it comes to your health as well. Learn about which poisons (that go into your body) to cut out, which sweetener is the best for your body and why disease can be expensive. Also learn why having Mental Health Days (can you say a Disney day?) are important and natural days to de-stress.

The Money Millhouse is a production of Heroes at Home, a non-profit organization that gives financial education to military families around the world. To find out more about Heroes at Home, or to make an end of the year donation, visit heroesathome.org

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